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Life on Altamont Court: Finding the Extraordinary in the Ordinary, by Trent D Pines
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WINNER OF THE 2014 Next Generation Indie Book Awards for HUMOR/COMEDY The Inflatable Snowman. The Gigantic Inflatable Snowman. We thought that ‘Frosty’ would lead to our demise. That 20-foot monstrosity placed in our front yard by a not so helpful elf had me questioning our decision to move into this seemingly quiet neighborhood on a cul-de-sac. Read about the mayhem and mishaps that come into play when you mix together a potpourri of eccentric characters that live within a stone’s throw of each other. Take an Eco-friendly, high-strung type A neighbor, a demanding Italian Matriarch, men who are the embodiment of the words “More Power,” a troop of loving and mischievous kids and mix in two gay men who are hell-bent on making a home out of a charming half-million-dollar, 100 year old fixer upper and you have the residents of Altamont Court. Whether you're a weekend warrior who can't wait to get you're hands around the next "improvement project", a stiletto-wearing Texas woman who wields a gun in flawless makeup, or a queen from the city who eagerly awaits the next big sales event at Neiman Marcus - this memoir is for you. Pour a drink, or more appropriately a shot, sit back, relax and enjoy - and if you don't, then the words of a truly classy character from this book come to mind, "What the F&%$’s wrong with you?" Yes, it's that kind of party - bless our hearts. Trent Pines trentpines@gmail.com
- Sales Rank: #725628 in Books
- Published on: 2013-11-11
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .82" w x 6.00" l, 1.07 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 362 pages
From Kirkus Reviews
Pines’ debut memoir offers a lighthearted, entertaining tale about his time on Altamont Court—a small, suburban cul-de-sac in Morristown, N.J.—and the neighbors who became his surrogate family. The author repeatedly notes that he never envisioned himself having a white-picket-fence kind of life. However, that’s exactly what he got when he moved, with his partner, Ken, to Altamont Court, a quiet suburban neighborhood filled with zany, inquisitive and lovable neighbors. The memoir’s first section centers on Pines’ story of renovating a “half-million-dollar fixer-upper” home soon after he and Ken arrived in Morristown—a disastrous undertaking that’s similar to the one in the 1986 comedy film The Money Pit, which the author quotes throughout. The latter, and longer, section focuses on the couple’s life on Altamont Court after the renovation was complete and their relationships with their neighbors, including Karla, the outspoken matriarch next door; her tomboy daughter, Erin, who became Pines’ “faux goddaughter”; and Davin, Karla’s youngest son, who was “as honest and sincere as they come.” Ultimately, the stories here are simply amusing, at best, but the author’s voice and personality make this book highly entertaining. Pines is an honest, self-deprecating narrator (“Once we were boarded, I drugged myself with an Ambien, two Xanax, and two shots of vodka and woke up as we landed....Believe me when I say it’s in everyone’s best interest that I remain anesthetized on long international flights”), and reading his book feels like having a conversation with an old friend. This memoir is also notable for its real-life story of a committed gay couple living a peaceful domestic life, something rarely portrayed in the popular culture. A heartwarming memoir featuring funny stories of suburban life.
Most helpful customer reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Wonderful, Funny, Fun Read for People who Like People!
By Mary Reese
This book is a scream! Learning about a great neighborhood filled with fascinating folks with big personalities and the hilarious perils of home renovation all at the same time. I laughed out loud reading the back cover and didn't stop laughing till I put it down. It will be my pick for book club this year!
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Mayberry RFD for the New Millenium!!
By KarlaDT
What a fun read! I laughed, cried and did plenty of eye rolling. This is the real NJ - without the housewives or the shore!! A must read.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
I was moved to tears...
By Suz
This was an amazing story! At first, I just caught myself laughing out loud unexpectedly. As a straight reader, I never expected to feel so connected to "the court" and its characters. But by the end I was moved to tears (literally). It's a fun, and heart-touching story which reminds us that we're all human and just trying to do the best we can in our daily lives (as we enjoy life along the way). I highly recommend it!
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